Tips for Co-Parents on Navigating Mother's Day After Separation

Mother's Day can be one of the more meaningful dates on the calendar for separated families. With a little planning, open communication and some creativity, it is possible to make the day special for both the parents and, most importantly, the children. Here are some of our tips for how you can navigate this upcoming Mother’s Day. 

Please note that these tips are based on there being no risk factors such as family violence or drug and alcohol concerns. In those circumstances, arrangements will need to be considered carefully with those factors in mind. 

Plan Ahead and Communicate Early

The single most important thing separated parents can do ahead of Mother's Day is communicate early. Whether or not a parenting plan or court orders are in place, reaching out to the other parent well in advance to discuss arrangements removes uncertainty for everyone involved.

Children often look forward to marking these occasions: waking up with mum, sharing breakfast, opening a card or gift together. Having firm arrangements in place ahead of time gives children the security and routine they need to simply enjoy the day.

There Is No Set Formula!

Mother's Day does not have to follow a rigid structure. Arrangements can look different for every family, from a few hours on the Sunday to an overnight extension of time concluding Monday at school drop-off.  Sometimes arrangements can even start as early as the Saturday before Mother’s Day so that children can wake up with mum on Mother’s Day morning. What matters is that both parents agree on what works for their children and their circumstances.

It is also worth reassuring the other parent that whatever time is agreed for Mother's Day will be mirrored for Father's Day in September. This sense of fairness and consistency benefits everyone, and children feel it too. 

Be Creative

If arrangements cannot be agreed upon for the actual day, Mother's Day does not have to fall on the second Sunday in May. Celebrating on another weekend in May is a perfectly reasonable solution. Flexibility and creativity go a long way when co-parenting, particularly when agreement is not always straightforward.

Parenting Plans vs Court Orders

If special days like Mother's Day are a recurring source of conflict, it may be worth formalising arrangements through either a parenting plan or court orders.

A parenting plan is a written agreement between both parents that can be drafted with the assistance of a solicitor or a family dispute resolution practitioner. It can include specific provisions for special days such as Mother's Day, Father's Day and children's birthdays. While it clearly sets out each parent's intentions, it is not legally enforceable.

Court orders are enforceable by law. If one parent does not comply with an order, the other parent can make a contravention application to the court. For families where conflict is ongoing or communication is difficult, court orders provide a strong framework and greater certainty.

If either a parenting plan or court orders are already in place, the terms of those documents should be followed, and special day provisions will typically set out exactly how days like Mother's Day are to be managed.

A Small Gesture That Goes a Long Way

Where the relationship between parents is amicable, consider helping the children prepare something for mum ahead of Mother's Day, whether that is a handmade card or a small gift. Setting that example for the children is a meaningful thing, as children often genuinely want to give mum something on the day. The same of course applies to Father's Day. These special days are exciting times for children, and it makes a real difference when both parents can facilitate that.

Putting Children First

Mother's Day after separation is rarely straightforward, and it is normal for emotions to run high around these occasions. What matters most is that children feel loved, secure and free to celebrate their mum without being caught in the middle of adult conflict. Even small efforts to communicate respectfully, plan ahead and facilitate these moments can make a meaningful difference to your children's experience. If you are finding it difficult to reach agreement on special days or co-parenting arrangements more broadly, speaking with an experienced family lawyer can help you establish a framework that works for your family.

Authors: Sanaz Naimi and Lauren Copeland 

Link to podcast https://www.cefamilylaw.com.au/podcast/episode-6-mothers-day-tips-and-suggestions-for-separated-parents